If you're single AF, hearts, candy, and roses are abundant on Tuesday, but when is our day? Who's going to take us out to dinner and whisper sweet nothings? We're here for you. Pick up a heart-shaped pizza from one of our suggestions of movies to watch this Valentine's Day. There's a good thing there won't be an engagement ring in it.
Die Hard with a Vengeance
Okay, hear me out. This isn't your typical V-Day fare, but it's an excellent film for salty singles who want to ignore the shady romance that is wreaking havoc on the spring season's worst holiday. After all, Bruce Willis got his start in comedy and romantic roles, so it's almost an off-color comedy, doesn't it?
Vengeance, for those who are down in the dumps, provides a refreshing alternative for a lonely evening. John, who, in general, deserves it, is deeply at ease in it, and it delivers some of the franchise's finest (and most absurd) action sequences, making it a wonderful experience from start to stop.
With a premium subscription to Hulu or Amazon Prime, you can get Die Hard with a Vengeance for yourself, or you can rent it for less than $3. What we'd recommend, though, is purchasing the whole Die Hard package — sorry to subject you to Live Free or Die Hard — for the reasonable price of $50. That's ten bucks a movie, and in return, you get hours of unquestionably addictive action and John irritating his way through a few of the film's greatest villain
Nahila Bonfiglio
The Flor of the Mediterranean
On Valentine's Day, you're single AF, so why not take your time to conquer the third-longest film of all time and have bragging rights, alongside an unforgettable icebreaker for future dates, when you finish? It's even available on Amazon Prime, making it easy to track down.
Allie Capps is a well-known actress.
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls is a title I've used to describe every detail of the film (can't imagine why, it's the only movie that everybody else can watch. No one else can come home. Don't call us, we'll call you). If you're single AF, you'll be rewarded for doing so. You're ahead of the game.
Misty Contreras
Is a person ready or not?
A new bride quickly discovers that marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be. When they play hide and seek on her wedding night, a "fun" family game turns into life or death. It's a hilariously hilarious ride that will make you thank the Lord that you're single.
Brandy Cruz
Revenge (2017)
The experience of being single on the most romantic day of the year is not easy for anyone. While you're missing out on a fairy tale romance sprinkled with roses and champagne and going off to a faraway island with your loved one, there is one film that is bound to engulf you back into reality. Jen is sexually assaulted, gaslighted, and literally pushed to her death by three men, one of whom is her boyfriend.
Jayasmita Dutta Roy is a British author.
The Army of Darkness is a division of the Darkness.
“Just me, baby.”
Bruce Campbell's brilliant performance as Ash in Army of Darkness is braggadociose and packed with one-liners, hysterical gore, and action scenes, making you want to be one of a kind. And it's a fantastic reminder to not take things too seriously when it comes to making the best decisions.
Habeab Kurdi
Audition (1999)
Despite what Hallmark wants you to believe, being in love isn't all it's cracked up to be, and Audition is here to remind you that a bad relationship is preferable.
Shigeharu Aoyama, a widower who is auditioning for a new wife, meets and falls in love with Asami Yamazaki. However, Asami isn't what she appears, and things soon spiral out of control. Takashi Miike's film is directed by Shigeharu Aoyama, who uses this film to illustrate his legendary love of gore. So, by the end of the credits roll, you'll be far too irritated to eat chocolate or touch another human
Jonathon Greenall is an English professor.
Scream!
The weeks leading up to Valentine's Day can be a tense time for lovers of all kinds. The assault on your eternal party-of-one status can be pretty severe, and when you're single AF, nobody has time for that. So what better way to honor your legendary party-of-one status than watching one of the greatest slasher films of all time?
Scream has just the right amount of horror, sarcasm, and sexual appeal to suit the Valentine's Day mold the most unconventionally. With Skeet Ulrich leading the charge, Scream focuses on an attractive and alternative group of friends as they attempt to escape the horror that surrounds their small town. Talk about relatable.
As he snuck through Sidney's window, one of the most romantic and iconic scenes in entertainment came from Scream.
"The Exorcist was on; it made me think of you." Be still our beating hearts!
You'd be hard pressed to find someone who hasn't had a crush on Skeet at some point in their lives. Whether Loomis is your pop culture valentine this year or if the idea of romance makes you so sick that your sole focus is on him becoming Ghostface, there's still one heck of a argument to be made that Scream is the ultimate single AF Valentine's Day watch option.
Ashley Marie
After Hours
After Hours, a sometimes-overlooked Martin Scorsese gem, is a hateful date-night comedy that quickly becomes a nightmare when Paul loses his money, his date, and his resolve to live through a series of misadventures that eventually lead to his death at the hands of a group of SoHo residents.
Beau Paul
Amélie
Amélie is the perfect Valentine's present for singletons because it emphasizes the beauty in solitude. The protagonist defies the results of a gloomy childhood, while also gaining pleasure from the little things in life.
Demi Phillips is a famous actress.
Cold Mountain
Cold Mountain is the story of a disgruntled Confederate soldier named Inman and his attempt to reunite with a long-lost love. Featuring Jude Law, Nicole Kidman, and Renee Zellweger, the film was nominated for a best actress Oscar for her role in the Civil War.
Jon Silman is a professional sportswriter.
King Kong (2005)
For those who aren't aware, Peter Jackson's King Kong is a fantastic film. If I ever have the time and spreadsheets to explain why this is the case, I will happily do so. However, for the time being, please understand that I will go to bat for this film in whatever context.
If you're going solo this Valentine's Day, you should make Peter Jackson's King Kong your film of choice. (Spiler alert, by the way), if you're like me and wear the unrecognized splendor of Jackson's King Kong on your sleeve, "lonely" isn't a subtlety you're unfamiliar with; the rest of the team never misses a chance to remind me that I'm the token apostle of this
If you're single this Valentine's Day, toss on King Kong and take solace in the fact that love can be fatal, but that loneliness can also be accompanied by some of life's most significant events. When the cause happens to involve holding up Jackson's masterpiece as the unadulterated cinematic paragon that it is, well, that only reflects the depth of our loneliness with every passing glance.
My apologies to you for coming to Skull Island, fellow kongers.
Charlotte Simmons
Fatal Attraction
Do you find yourself alone this Valentine's Day? Do you need a reminder that it's the annual Singles Awareness Day? Hollywood has taught us for years that being alone is not so dangerous. You avoid any problems for yourself, your loved ones, and your rabbits.
Have we learned nothing from Fatal Attraction? If Michael Douglas' Dan Gallagher had gotten a divorce and perhaps had done some soul searching along the way, the famous rabbit would have lived a full, happy existence. So, if you're interested in being single, remember that you can never be sure if you'll ever get caught with a psychotic stranger. #staysingle/savetherabbits.
THE Matt Tuck
The Love Witch
The Love Witch is a masterclass in aesthetics, paying tribute to campy Technicolor films from the 1960s and 1970s. It's a beautiful story that, for many reasons, makes you realize that dating can be a blessing in disguise.
Staci White is a British author.