Nick Adams, a self-described "alpha male" and a permanent nominee for "biggest doofus on Twitter," is back in town again, this time wrestling his pearl necklace against a pregnant lady singing at the Super Bowl. Adams, despite his claim of being an "alpha male," has a habit of whining and fretting over cultural issues online that many think he's actually writing satire.
LVII Adams plunged back into his favorite well for his spooky take on the Super Bowl, revealing the completely real and not fake waitresses at Hooters, which is Adam's own take on the other totally true and not fictional "I just left a hipster coffee shop" meme. Apparently, the waitresses at America's favorite spot for mid-quality wings and casual objectification were simply outraged by Rihanna's half-time performance (a performance many considered more important
There is no word on why the episode was so "demonic" (and it was certainly not more objectifying than, say, gazing at your Hooters waitress as she leaves to refill your Miller Lite draft), but it appears to have been enough to incense the, again not fictional, "staff".
Adams went on to mention, again, while in a totally real Hooters restaurant, that Rihanna requires Jesus. Rihanna, who regularly tweets Bible verses about her gratitude to God and has donated literally millions of dollars, is apparently in need of the Lord.
Adams then went on to obsess about one of his few hobbies that comes close to his love of Hooters: his devotion to Kid Rock, a dismal old aging rapper who is now a friend of Donald Trump. However, everyone would prefer Kid Rock, the highest-selling album in the United States, which topped the Billboard charts in 2009.
Rihanna's number-one hits in the United States include "SOS" from A Girl Like Me (2006); "Umbrella", "Take a Bow," and "Disturbia" from Good Girl Gone Bad (2007–2008); "Rude Boy" from Rated R (2010); "Only Girl (in the World)", "What's My Name," and "S&M" from Loud (2010); "We Found Love" from Talk That Talk (2011); and "Diamonds" from Unapolog
Tom Holland dancing to "Umbrella" on Lip Sync Battle is more a baller move than anything Nick Adams, a mediocre political hack, will achieve.
Hooters, we hope the wings sales increased at least, and if your waitresses have to deal with this guy-baby on a regular basis they need a raise.